Doing Lines
by helga3
Summary: Drabbles for the Azumanga girls and their teachers. Update! Yet another episode of Osaka presents: Tales from Chiyo-chan's summer house of horrors. Are YOU afraid of the dark?
1. The Importance of a Good Education

**Notes: **Future home for my Azumanga drabbles, in which "drabbles" will be rather loosely defined as fic of around 100-ish words or so.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Azumanga Daioh.

* * *

**The Importance of a Good Education**

"What do you mean, not a good reason?" Kimura-sensei asked. "Why are _you_ teachers, then?"

"It's a privilege, really, to help shape the young mind. To watch your students grow and mature and know you've had a hand in it---"

Kurosawa-sensei's speech was interrupted by a shout. "Yukari-baby! Nyamo!" Tomo waved enthusiastically as she walked past. Next to her, Kagura grinned and gave them a thumbs up as well, and Osaka smiled vaguely at them.

There was a pause. "High school girls," Yukari then said, voice resigned and pumping her fist into the air unenthusiastically. "I like high school girls."


	2. Bad Influences

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Azumanga Daioh.

**Notes: **Originally an in-comment request!drabble for qem chibati over at LiveJournal.

* * *

**Bad Influences**

Yomi looked around, willing herself to stay calm as she looked at her friends, but her hands were still shaking, and she could feel the sweat breaking out on her forehead. She didn't want to be doing this, shouldn't be doing this---but still, everyone else was, all her friends, even Chiyo-chan, and she didn't want to feel left out, and it was only this once, so it would be okay, wouldn't it?

"All right! All right! I'll _do_ it! Damn you all and your peer pressure!" she finally wailed, and everyone else turned around to look at her in surprise as she snatched the cupcake from the plate in front of her and bit into it with a ferociousness similar to that of a very starved wild animal.


	3. And Around And ARound

**Disclaimer: **All I own are very well-read copies of the manga.

* * *

**And Around and Around**

"So if a circle's 360 degrees, and the world is round, is spinning around, like _this, _like going around the world?"

"Um, no. 360 degrees are just how you define a circle. Any circle. Despite size."

Chiyo's attempted explanation didn't seem to convince Osaka.

"Besides," Yomi added, wishing to end this discussion by any means possible, "the world is round like a ball, not like a circle on paper. You'd have to spin around yourself at every angle for it to count."

"Oooh." Osaka looked enlightened.

"Oooh," Tomo agreed.

"And _you_," Yomi told her severely, "are _not _going to try."


	4. Irritation As A Form Of Art

**Notes: **Since I was actually asked (elsewhere): no, the first drabble was not Yukari-sensei confessing her real reason for being a teacher; it was just the thought that if _Tomo, Kagura _and_ Osaka_ were the products of her helping shape young minds, Kimura's reason doesn't seem so bad after all

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own a thing.

* * *

**Irritation as a Form of Art**

"Yooo-miii."

"What?" Yomi snapped.

"Nothing. Yooo-miii."

"Look, I'm trying to study. If you have nothing to say, go bug someone else."

Tomo pondered this. "Chiii-yooo-chaaan. Kaaa-guuu-raaa. Nope, that just hasn't got the same ring to it," she decided.

"I know what has the same ring, though." Kagura sat on the floor beside her. "Tooo-mooo," she chanted in the same sing-song voice as Tomo.

"Hey, yeah. That kinda works."

"Tooo-mooo."

"Yooo-miii."

Yomi leaned her head in her hands and groaned.

"Hey," Osaka said thoughtfully. "If they practiced some more, maybe they could form a choir."

"Yooo-miii," Tomo said.

"Tooo-moo," Kagura said.


	5. A Scene At An Airport

**Disclaimer: **My rights to Azumanga Daioh are as nonexistent as Yukari's driving skills.

* * *

**A Scene at an Airport**

"I'm sorry to spring this on you when you've only just stepped off the plane… But I have to warn you. Chiyo, what's your worst nightmare?"

Chiyo's eyes glazed over, and she started shaking. "Yukari-sensei… car," she mumbled, looking terrified.

"Well, imagine something ten… _thousand_ times worse." Yomi's voice was urgent.

"There you two are!" Tomo interrupted. "Why are you loitering around here? Let's go already! I'm driving!"

Chiyo stopped shaking and stared at Tomo in mute horror for a full two seconds before turning around and running back towards the gate she'd just stepped through as fast as she could.


	6. The Unpleasantness at the Karaoke Bar

**Disclaimer: **My rights to Azumanga Daioh are as nonexistent as Yomi's singing voice.

**Note: **Points for spotting the reference in the title of this one. Also, I love reviews. Thank you so much for those, they make my day!

* * *

**The Unpleasantness at the Karaoke Bar**

_"Somewhere over the rainbow---"_

"---my singing voice went after it escaped."

_"---way up high---"_

"---where it knows I can't find it."

_"---there's a land that I heard of---"_

"---where singing voices go to die. Of shame."

_"---once in a lullaby."_

"I sure hope that was sung better than this is."

The couple at the next table looked up hopefully as they heard a shout of _that's it! _followed by a bang here and a crash there, but their hopes were soon dashed and they groaned in unison as, after a short silence, the singing continued again.

_"Somewhere over the rainbow---"_


	7. A Tantrum Properly Thrown

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

* * *

**A Tantrum Properly Thrown**

"Your assignments for today. Do them. I'm leaving."

"But... If we need help?" Kagura ventured.

"Ask one of the other teachers. They're so great, after all. Maybe you can get them a _present_ for all their help." Yukari's glare was stone-cold. "Now, I have something very important to do."

Chiyo raised her hand. "Um... What's that, Yukari-sensei?"

_"Re-evaluate my life!"_ The door slammed shut behind Yukari.

"It's not Kurosawa-sensei's birthday again, is it?" Yomi asked.

"Actually, I hear it's Kimura's," Sakaki spoke up quietly.

The students stared at each other in horror.

"Poor Yukari-sensei," Kagura finally said, speaking for everyone.


	8. Oh Land of Hope and Glory

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing

**Notes:** Let's face the harsh reality: one day, even Chiyo-chan will grow up.

* * *

**Oh Land of Hope and Glory**

"Nope. Still all wrong. Hey mister!" Tomo grabbed an unsuspecting passer-by and pointed to where she'd lined up Sakaki, Chiyo and Kagura next to one another. "Could _you_ tell which one of them just returned from five years in America?"

"The one carrying the suitcase?" the man ventured.

"No! Look at their boobs! Their _boobs! _Chiyo-chan's aren't American at all!"

The man hurried away, looking as scandalized as the girls on display were looking embarrassed.

"It's all about perspective," Yomi said, leading Chiyo to stand between Tomo and Osaka instead. "_Now _you'd know."

Not even Tomo could protest to that.


	9. And Now The Bells Are Ringing

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Notes: **A three-in-one drabble: 3x100 words. Inspired by the New Year's manga strip of Chiyo-chan and Osaka ringing the bells at the shrine.

* * *

**And Now the Bells Are Ringing**

Five minutes later, Osaka was still ringing the bell. A small crowd had gathered around her, watching with varying degrees of interest.

"Should we... Why hasn't anyone... stopped her?" Chiyo asked.

"Well..." Yomi began.

Osaka, at that moment, looked in their direction, her smile so content and happy it was almost heart-wrenching.

"I guess no one has the heart," Yomi sighed.

Chiyo nodded. They watched in silence as Osaka continued her one-woman New Year's concert. Somehow, she managed to wring a series of notes that sounded strangely like a melody from her bell, and the crowd around her applauded politely.

* * *

"What's going on?" Sakaki asked, walking up to Chiyo and Yomi.

_"Osaka." _Yomi's explanation was short, but to the point.

Right then, there was a collective _oooh_ from the crowd at an especially melodic set of notes from Osaka's bell. Sakaki stared in awe. Why hadn't she ever noticed how beautiful the sound was before? She could feel her face flushing, her body starting to tremble.

"Sakaki, maybe _you _could talk some sense into-" Yomi began next to her, but she trailed off when she noticed the state her friend was in.

"I'm just not gonna ask," she decided resignedly.

* * *

"Should Osaka be doing that?" Kagura asked, popping up behind Yomi.

By the bell, Osaka was looking the picture of happiness, as if she was having the time of her life.

"Probably not. But would you have the heart to tell her that?"

"Heh!" Tomo grinned evilly next to Kagura. "Tomo-chan _SNEAK TACKLE!"_ She burst through the crowd, threw herself at Osaka and tackled her to the ground.

There were a few more clangs from the bell before it went silent.

"No, but Tomo would," Kagura said.

"Should've known that black little heart would be perfect for it," Yomi agreed.


	10. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

** Are You Afraid of the Dark?**

"Most. Disgusting. Movie. Ever," Yomi said.

Kagura was looking pale, Sakaki just about ready to throw up. Chiyo-chan was shaking.

Osaka, however, only looked mildly thoughtful. "I wonder if the part of the spleen that wasn't eaten was ever found... " She turned to Tomo. "Is there a sequel?"

Tomo stared. "Whaaat? Who _cares_? I wanted you to see this movie to be grossed out and traumatised, not make you think!"

"Should've guessed," Yomi sighed.

"You should!" Tomo almost seemed outraged. "Who'd be sick enough to watch _that_ because they _enjoy _it?"

Elsewhere, in another part of town, Tanizaki Yukari sneezed.


	11. Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, Take Two

**Disclamier: **I own nothing.

**Notes: **Thanks so much once again for the reviews! Please do comment, it makes my day. Well, writing for Azumanga makes my day, really. I can't think of any fandom I enjoy writing for as much.

* * *

**Are You Arfraid of the Dark?, Take Two**

**or,**

**It's Always the Quiet Ones**

"---And her last thoughts were of how the entire tragedy - the fear, the violence, the bloodshed, the deaths and the madness - could have been avoided, had she only not decided to trick her friend into eating that spicy food that gave her the hiccups." Osaka's voice trailed off as her story ended. The other girls were watching her with mouths hanging open.

"O-Osaka... You're not still upset about that time... Are you?" Yomi asked.

"Of course not," Osaka promised, then looked to the side with a short, sinister little chuckle.

"I-I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight," Yomi said nervously.


	12. Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, Take Three

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

**Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Take Three**

**or, **

**Things Much Worse Than Horrible, Violent Murder**

"If we were in a horror story right now I know how it would go," Osaka said, and the others gathered around her for that year's version of Osaka presents: Chiyo-chan's Summer House of Horrors. "It begins when Kurosawa-sensei is horribly, violently murdered."

"Ooooh, I know this one!" Tomo interrupted. "And then, one by one, the rest of us die. And the killer is... _you!_"

"No."

"Me?" Tomo tried hopefully.

"Kurosawa-sensei is killed. And then... _Kimura-sensei becomes the new gym teacher_."

The girls all recoiled in horror.

"Kurosawa-sensei, _please don't die,_" Kaorin whimpered, clutching at the arm of the traumatised-looking Nyamo.


	13. V for Vending Machine

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

**Notes: **This was written for the five things meme at LiveJournal, so the theme is a suggested prompt. 5x100 words.

* * *

**Five times the vending machine ate Osaka's money,**

**or**

**V for Vending Machine**

**  
****1.**  
"I can't believe we can't get anything cold on a day like this," Tomo complained, wiping the sweat off her brow with her sleeve.

"Ice tea," Yomi muttered.

"Ice cream," Chiyo said dreamily.

"Anything cold!" Kagura said.

"Chiyo-chan, you _sure_ you haven't any money hidden away somewhere?" Tomo asked.

"Sorry," Chiyo said apologetically.

"Hey!" Osaka said, picking up and triumphantly holding up the coin she'd spotted on the ground.

Tomo pushed Osaka toward a vending machine. "Juuuice! Nooow!"

The machine ate the coin.

"Noooo! _Whyyyy?_" Tomo sobbed.

"There's a lesson to be learned here," Kagura sighed. "Anyone know what it is?"

**  
2.**  
"I think I'll get some juice," Osaka said. She inserted her coin and waited, but nothing happened. Sighing, she took out a new coin, and was just about to try it when Chiyo grabbed her hand.

"That's not a Euro, is it?"

"Yes."

"Those won't work. Only Yen do."

"How strange. Why should everyone in Europe have to get Yen just to use vending machines? Besides, my dad said they worked when he used them."

"Was he in Europe at the time?" Sakaki asked.

"Yes, but... Oh!" Osaka looked enlightened. "How ingenious! That's so practical!"

"Amazing," Chiyo agreed. Sakaki nodded.

**  
3.**  
"What's with the look, Osaka?" Tomo asked. "You look like the world's about to end."

"Save meee..." Osaka said faintly. "It ate the moneeey."

"That's not really a catastrophe, Osaka," Yomi said, glancing at the vending machine.

"Nope, not a catastrophe," Tomo agreed cheerfully. "Definitely funny, though,"

Osaka was practically shaking. "Yukari-sensei sent me to get her some juice. _Her_ money. _The last of her pay this month._"

"Ooooh," Tomo said, not without a hint (and an anvil-sized one, at that) of gleeful schadenfreude.

Yomi took Osaka's hand and shook it solemnly. "It has been nice knowing you," she said.

**  
4.**  
"Hold on," Osaka said. With a determined look on her face, she walked up to the machine and put in a coin.

Sakaki looked away, blushing, while the other girls watched and waited with varying degrees of interest. And waited. And waited.

Nothing.

Finally, Osaka gave up, returning to them with a dejected look on her face.

Tomo burst out laughing hysterically. "What'd _you_ need a condom for anyway?" she finally managed.

"Nothing," Osaka admitted. "Just had a sudden irresistible urge to get one. But I think the universe is trying to tell me something."

"Subtle, universe. Subtle," Yomi said.

**  
5.**  
"Aaargh! This stupid thing ate my money!"

"Don't let it defeat you, Tomo!" Kagura yelled. "Try again!"

"I don't have anymore money!" Tomo yelled back.

"_I'll_ defeat it, then!" Kagura yelled, practically attacking the machine with her coin, but to no avail.

"My turn!" Osaka declared, stepping up to meet the challenge, but neither her coin nor her look of determination worked on the stubborn machine.

"Give it up," Yomi said.

"All right! Again!" Tomo yelled, and Kagura stepped up to attack it once more. Both of them ignored Yomi completely.

_"Bonklers!"_ Tomo yelled.

"Banzai!" Osaka said.

"Whyyy?" Yomi sighed.


	14. Death Comes in the End

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

**Notes: **Another one for the five things meme. 5x100 words.

* * *

**Five reasons why Yomi hasn't killed Tomo yet**

**or,**

**Death Comes In The End**

**  
1.**  
On the few occasions that Yomi actually screws something up or gets into trouble, Tomo makes a very good scapegoat.

("So you don't have your assignment, huh?" Yukari said. "What, did your dog eat it?"

"No," Yomi said. She looked around, grasping for an explanation, and found one when she saw the gleeful expression on Tomo's face. "_Tomo_ ate it."

"Hey!" Tomo said, snapping to attention. "I did not!"

Yukari ignored Tomo. "Oh. You have until next week to redo it," she said. The rest of class looked at Yomi with sympathy.

"Why does everyone believe this woman?" Tomo asked.)

**  
2.**  
There are times when Tomo can be more inspirational than any motivational speaker.

("Oooh, I know that look," Tomo told Yomi gleefully. "You're daydreaming about juuust how delicious the ice cream from this place is, and you're just about to cave in, break your diet and go buy one."

Yomi, who had been doing just that, glared. "Am not."

"Yeeeeah, I know you fat people. No self-control at all. But don't mind, don't mind! It'll be funny seeing you swell up even more, you balloon!"

Yomi smacked her over the head and stalked off, urge for ice cream completely forgotten.)

**  
3.**  
Because she'd be deprived of seeing the death in a most embarrassing, self-inflicted way that Tomo is sure to cause one of these days.

("I could've died!" Tomo said.

"From falling down a staircase, which was in the same place as it always is," Yomi said flatly.

"That you didn't notice because you were running too blindly," Kagura continued.

"So, why didn't you die?" Chiyo asked.

Tomo suddenly started shaking. "K-k-kimura stopped my fall," she mumbled.

"I guess now we know why the teachers tell us not to run in the hallways," Kaorin said, shaken.

"I should've died!" Tomo wailed.)

**  
4.**  
Occasionally knowing Tomo _does_ have its perks.

("I'm going to get some bread from the cafeteria!" Tomo declared.

"Oh, hey, could you get me one too?" Kaorin asked. "I'm so hungry my stomach's growling."

"No way! Get your own, lazy girl!" Tomo said, heading for the door.

"You're doing it wrong," Yomi said as an aside to Kaorin, and then turned to Tomo. "Tomo! I _challenge_ you to get us some bread as well!"

"You're _on_, sister!" Tomo yelled, heading off at top speed.

"Can't remember the last time I got something from the cafeteria myself," Yomi told Kaorin smugly.)

**  
5.**  
She has to admit that playing the straight (wo)man would really be rather boring without someone to play the decidedly _unhinged_ (wo)man as well.

("It's really pouring down today, isn't it?" Chiyo said.

"Lucky that we all have umbrellas, huh?" Kagura said.

"We'd certainly be wet without them," Chiyo said.

There was a silence.

"But someone should always _not_ have one," Osaka said decisively. "What's the use of us _having_ ours otherwise?"

To their surprise, the girls found themselves actually understanding Osaka's point.

"Tomo _would_ be sick exactly on the one day we'd actually miss her, wouldn't she?" Yomo finally said.)


	15. On The Virtue Of Endurance

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

* * *

**On The Virtue Of Endurance**

_"---No more bottles of beer on the wall!"_

In the backseat, the voices of the Bonklers died down. In the front, Yomi and Nyamo let out deep breaths, exchanging a look of utmost relief at finally having some peace and quiet.

Until they noticed that only two had gone quiet, and a third voice was still going on. _"Siiiiixty seeeeveeeen... bottleeeeees..." _There was a pause. _"Of... beeeeeer."_

"Don't give up now, Osaka!" Kagura yelled. "You can do it!"

"We're cheering for you!" Tomo added.

Nyamo looked close to tears.

"Even the Yukarimobile would have been better than this," Yomi mumbled.


	16. For a Father

**Disclaimer: **Nope, nothing's mine 

**Notes:** I was asked how many of these drabbles there are going to be, but I honestly have no idea. These aren't planned ahead, it's just a collection for whenever inspiration happens to strike! This might be the last one, or I might continue updating occasionally _for the rest of my life_, or something. :D

* * *

**For a Father**

"This is for your dad," Osaka said, pressing something into Chiyo's hand. "For Father's Day."

It was a box of cat biscuits.

_Odd_, Chiyo thought, putting the box in her bag. But then, Osaka was Osaka. So Chiyo just shrugged and forgot about the incident, until later that day when she found herself with another identical box in her hand.

"You'll give it to him?" Sakaki said. "Right?"

_Even odder_, Chiyo thought, but promised to anyway.

Sakaki nodded in satisfaction and turned to leave.

"I wonder if there's something Dad isn't telling us," Chiyo mumbled, staring thoughtfully at the box. 


	17. Animal Motif

**Notes:** Still alive! Those extra strips with Osaka, Tomo and the turtles were kind of adorable, weren't they?

* * *

**Animal Motif**

"You know," Tomo said. "Turtles really work for Osaka, right?"

Kagura nodded.

"For you," Tomo continued, "it would be, like, one of those really enthusiastic dogs that like to run around a lot, a labrador or something. And I, of course, would be the graceful wildc---"

"Cockroach," Yomi, passing by the gathering of Bonklers, interrupted.

Tomo's head whipped around. "Shut it, whale!" she snapped.

A moment of silence followed as Tomo glared pointedly after her, interrupted finally by Osaka.

"Waaait," she said seriously, looking intently for a long time first at Tomo, then Kagura. "Why," she finally went on, "turtle?"


	18. Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, Take Four

**Notes: **What do you know, anoter update, almost right away! And I suddenly have more bunnies floating around my head, too, so there should be a few more coming up very soon.

* * *

**Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Take Four**

**or,**

**A Tragic Winter's Tale**

"I was looking at the pictures from Chiyo-chan's summer house the other day," Kagura mentioned.

"Ah," Sakaki said dreamily, "I wonder what it's like in winter..."

"If it was a horror story..." Osaka began, and the girls turned their attention to her, leaning closer for yet another tale from the summer house of horrors.

"We'd get there... Open the door... And then! _Realise that_ _there's_ _no kotatsu._" Osaka leaned back, crossed her arms over her chest and nodded seriously.

"... And?" Yomi prodded.

"_No kotatsu_," Osaka repeated darkly.

The girls pondered this.

"Man, the winter version kinda sucks," Kagura finally decided.


End file.
